What Ever Happened to the Words "Please" and "Thank You"?

As I reflect on Halloween my mind goes to the behavior of the children who cam to our door asking for treats.

My son answered the door bell and manned the candy supply. When the onslaught was over he came to my end of the house to give me a briefing. There were lots of kids - some from the neighborhood and some who had been brought here in trucks and cars from another part of town. Kids are kids no matter where they come from and all of them love Halloween candy. So do I.

The thing that most interested my son was the lack of just plain old fashioned good manners. He said the little ones were sweet and only took one piece of candy each, but no one prompted them to use what we call "the magic words." The older the group of children that came to the door, the less they seemed to demonstrate manners of any kind. The last group consisted of about fifteen teenagers - 14 or 15 years old - mostly girls and a couple of boys. They went into a frenzy over the candy basket, pushing and shoving to see who could get the most the fastest. My son said it was like a tank of piranhas fighting for one piece of meat in the tank. One boy stood back and when the girls had finished said to my son, "If there's any left, may I please have one?" It was the end of the evening and my son tipped the basket up filling the boys bag with the remaining dozen pieces of Hershey's and Reece's Pieces. "You're the only one who was patient and polite, and you're the only one who said "please." And with that and a big smile the boy said, "Thank You. Happy Halloween."

One out of how many?

What has happened to good manners?

In our house it is expected that we each say "please," "thank you," "pardon me," "may I?" and other words that represent thoughtfulness, gratitude and respect. Every day we work with 4 year old Jack on those words and we will be so very pleased when they become such a habit that he doesn't have to be prompted.

Growing up, I was taught and expected to say "Yes, Ma'am and no, Ma'am" and "Yes, sir and no, sir" when addressing any adult and we knew better than to forget. I think the ma'am and sir are nice but "please" and "thank you" are required.

There is no place that good manners are not appropriate. In the home, in school, in the workplace, at the ballgame, trick or treating - it is the person fluent in "please" and "thank you" and "Happy Halloween" that will take home the prize in the end. The rude and boorish ones may get the most at the time but is the thoughtful and respectful one who will be invited back.

Doesn't self improvement include the development and use of good manners and common courtesy?